This next blog post is going to get very personal, so brace yourselves…
So most of us have gone through heartbreak or experienced the end of some type of relationship where our feelings got hurt. Well, I have been asked by many friends of mine who are going through heartbreak right now for advice (not that I’m an expert because I’ve only been heartbroken twice)…but I am happy to help and aid in easing the pain. For me the very first time I went through having my heartbroken, I went through the stages of emotions; there was anger; sadness; questioning; self doubt in my own worth. One thing that truly helped me when having a broken heart is pouring my soul into whatever passion I have, for me that’s writing. For some riding a bike or sketching or making out with boys helps them focus on other things aside from their exes. But we all have one thing in common, we want these feelings to go away. Here are some helpful hints…
- Allow yourself to feel the pain. I know most of us are already in pain and it sucks believe me, but it’ll suck more if you keep trying to hold it all in. There will be days when all you do is wake up and get dressed or brush your teeth and I congratulate you because when it first hits, those will be the hardest things to do.
- Cry. As cliche as this step is, it also helps big time, because after some point all those sad tears will have escaped your body. Cry anywhere and anytime–it’s apart of life to feel hurt and sadness.
- Some days you shouldn’t be alone…other days you should. Basically what I am telling you is that what we’re really sad about is the companionship we had with our significant other. Believe me, right now I feel a sense of loneliness after coming out of an almost 2.5 year relationship. Spend time with your friends, or family, or even go out and make new friends. But also remember to do things for you, by yourself. This helps build up your strength to handling single life. The first time my heart was broken, I had to learn to love myself again because I didn’t understand how not to behave as a solo and not a duo. (If Beyonce or Kelly can shine after Destiny’s Child, then dammit so can we after a breakup).
- My last piece of advice will be this: remember that you cannot control the feelings of others, but you can control your own. And that should be reason enough to want to be a stronger person, because you have the power to control your emotions and the outcome of your life and the next steps you’ll take in order to recover.
Hopefully all of this helps soften the blow for all my weird people out there.